Just Say Something

Recently, my mom and I have been talking a lot about the future.  Since I'm graduating soon, my mom doesn't hesitate to tell me her dreams and expectations for me.  Honestly, even though she is one of the greatest supporters for my education, she also thinks that I can never truly be happy unless I have a family with a husband and babies.  For the longest time I've never said anything because although I don't believe that getting a husband and children will magically make my life perfect, I also don't know what will and I lack the proper "proof" to argue with her.  But recently, despite the fact that I still don't know what will make my life perfect and wonderful in the future, I've start to realize that it doesn't matter.  I should let it known to her that I don't entirely agree anyway.

If you have extremely strict Chinese parents, you might know that these conversations come with a lot of drama, arguing, some tears, and a lot of "you don't know what you're talking about."  Yet, after a few chats, even though I don't think my mom has completely changed her mind, I can see that she might be accepting my thought process as just a different way of thinking about my life.  She might not think it's the "absolute right" way of thinking, but at least it's not "wrong."  It's just different, which might be all that you need to start changing something that is so engrained in someone's morals and values.

Yes, it is easier said that done, especially if you're not a very confrontational person.  But if you don't say anything, people just assume you agree.  That might actually be worse than keeping the peace (at least for me)!

"Bunheads" Pilot Thoughts

So I'm starting a new show called Bunheads and I'm enjoying it so far.  However, I couldn't help but over analyze the pilot (yes, like I do with everything I watch).  But first, here is a short synopsis of the first episode:
Michelle Simms, former ballerina who ended up as a Las Vegas showgirl, was about to get a big break: she got an audition for "Chicago."  However, after one look, she was rejected.  Feeling completely helpless without any promising career and life ahead, she drunkenly agrees to marry her persistent admirer, Hubbell Flowers.  They move into his quiet and sleepy hometown, Paradise, CA.  Hubbell promises Michelle an exciting and fulfilling life, but he is killed in a car accident.

Now here is where I have a problem.  Not only is she portrayed as helpless because she's aging and unwanted (which is unfortunately a very real, sexist, and agist problem that the ballet and dancing world has), the only way she can get a new life is by marrying this man she barely knows??  All we know is that he thinks she is beautiful and wants her as his wife.  Although we don't know anything about this man, he is portrayed as her only solution, her knight in shining armor, the man that will take care of her; therefore, we trust and love him.  She has no agency in her life and even agreeing to marry him, she was drunk and lacked complete control.  Why are we so accepting of this predicament?  It's okay that she's not wanted because of her age.  It's okay that this strange man proposes to her and loves her only because of her beauty. It's okay that she agrees to let this man take her away to this strange place to give her "everything" women are suppose to want.  Does she even really want to be a suburban house wife?  The whole concept takes away the possibility for her to carve out the life she wants for herself and the only way to get it is by marrying this man.  To put it roughly: she's going to be a trophy wife and that's the best she can do for herself.
Review: not impressed